Neeson Month - Mini Review: Clash of the Titans

Oh goody, a remake. Sh*t

It’s Neeson Month

And time to watch Liam Neeson ascend to Godhood in Clash of the Titans

A remake of the 1981 Clash of the Titans movie, or at least in the way that it’s called ‘Clash of the Titans’ and has a protagonist named Perseus, who’s the son of Zeus. This movie was reasonably successful, making a profit at the box office, but the critical reaction was quite mixed… and by that, I mean it got a pathetic 28% on rotten tomatoes.

What went wrong?

OK, so the story is centred around Perseus, who was born because Zeus is petty and had sex with a woman disguised as his husband. They were tossed over into the sea for some reason (serious, fire exists, why don’t you burn her?) and he ends up surviving on a fishing boat where he turns in Sam Worthington. When Hades ends up killing his adoptive mother and father he joins a new anti-god group to attack Hades before he unleashes the Kraken on their village.

Look, I like this kind of movie, I’ve watched Percy Jackson and I actually got some enjoyment out of it, so I’m incredibly forgiving for this type of movie. I also don’t have the baggage of watching it as a remake as I haven’t seen the original and I have had the fortune of not watching it in 3D is I hear the 3D is atrocious.

So positives… There are some, I thought the movie was ok so I must have something nice to say about it… I…

OK, let’s get to the negatives. Sam Worthington, let’s start with him. Whoever told him that was the right voice, an English actor playing a Greek with a growly Australian voice, needs to back to pre-school. His character, Perseus, is unfortunately not a particularly interesting character, he’s driven by revenge and slowly gets clued into what’s going on. His baggage means there’s very little development for him, especially as we see so little of him growing up with his adoptive parents.

OK, let’s get to Ralph Fiennes playing Hades, I like him, don’t get me wrong but I just can’t suspend my disbelief. His voice is too much like Voldemort for me not to be able to notice that distinction. It’s not just his voice it’s the way he says his lines in that deep whisper and really his whole personality. Personally, I’d take James Woods any day. His performance unintentionally funny, a bit of camp-ness in a movie that takes itself far too seriously.

Liam Neeson plays Zeus, only appropriate that he’d play the king of all gods in laughably bad facial hair (it's only a step or two from playing Jesus as a lion). His character is conflicted from the need to survive off prayer and the need to befriend his own son. His also a gigantic idiot who trusts Hades’ plan despite knowing that Hades survives off fear and that he’d like nothing more than to screw you over, like you did to him, you idiotic…

So anyway, there were other character in this movie. There was the princess, and then there’s Io, who’s a love interest who’s thousands of years old so ewww! And than there’s erm… there’s… look, this movie doesn’t have the most engaging characters

This movie was average, watchable, little beyond that. The action scenes aren’t well handled, some of the early special effects are laughable. The story has holes in it, and the acting is far from what I’d consider good. Why do I like this movie again? It has Greek Gods in it, and that’s awesome! Watch that good will run out next week as I review the sequel and no, I have something even worse saved up for a rage review

Rating 55/100